


You Remind Me Of Him

by Bird_Of_Scarlet



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: "Huh. I could write that.", Angst, Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, For the most part, Gen, Listen this all started bc I went off on one to Leah and was like, Memories, Missing Scene, Reminiscing, and two months later here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-11-26 09:17:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20927822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bird_Of_Scarlet/pseuds/Bird_Of_Scarlet
Summary: Rosanna Pansino remembers.She's seen so much, so many faces come and go, and for the first time, she's seen a few of them return.But even so, she'll still remember the ones she'll never see again.Even if she's the only one who does.(Or, a previously unlikely interaction forces Rosanna's to become the bearer of bad news. As if this night wasn't already bad enough.)





	You Remind Me Of Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [canufeelthemagictonight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/canufeelthemagictonight/gifts).

> Wow this time last year I posted Roi related angst too...
> 
> ...
> 
> __  
**W E L P -**  


Rosanna Pansino is still pretty unsure of where exactly she is. A museum in _Pur__gatory_? Her head's still reeling as it tries to grapple its way around the concept while her gut twists at the fact that these games seem to keep on going- even after death.

She doesn't even really know _when _she- or rather, this- is. Forties? Fifties?

_A Post-War Purgatory Museum for the Dead_.

Sounds sketchy, if you asked her.

But at least she knows _who _she is- and more importantly, who she's _with_. 

Bretman Rock sits to her left, the one fairly new face to her since her... "Departure" from home, and a face that by now she knows all too well.

Alex Wassabi.

Even if she hadn't known him that well beforehand, she'd recognise his face a mile off. From the media surge after the second slaughtering to the hundreds upon hundreds of memorials in honour of the fallen- but for her, there's one reason above all. Despite what he's faced, there's still a flame burning in the back of his eyes, lighting up a warm smile that's so close to one she's seen before.

"We _can't _just sit by and let her pick us off like we're nothing! We need to fight! We need to stick together and keep going, no matter what! Right?"

He beams, something about it clearly trying to convince himself that he's right too. Bretman let's out a low '_mhmmmmmm'_ from where he's perched, absentmindedly fixing his outfit, while Ro can't help the fond smile that falls over her face at the positive message. It doesn't take long for Alex to notice it too, digging his hands into his pockets and cocking a seemingly bashful grin.

"What?"

"Oh- nothing... It's just, you're just so much like Roi. I can see why you guys were such good friends."

"Roi?" His interest clearly piques at the mention of a name he probably hasn't heard in a while. "He's my best friend, I- I didn't realise you knew him. How'd that happen?" 

Despite his chuckle, Rosanna's heart drops. She glances at Bretman, the boy now looking over at her with an expression that she takes as "_oh girl, I ain't telling him_". Bretman knows who they mean from the name- another one headlining the nine o'clock news, the third year in a row. But Rosanna knows the boy behind it.

Rosanna knows them all.

If you asked her- she could tell you who each and every victim (and survivor) was, and what she knew about them, whether she'd met them or not. Then again, she'd met over a third of them by nature of the game, and even when her life's on the line again, she'll never forget.

Never stop missing.

Never stop remembering.

She bites her lip, trying to come up with an answer that won't shatter the Aviator in two the second he hears it.

There's hope in his eyes...

Just like...

* * *

It all happened again in September.

Back in 2016, the first Survivors- Eva Gutowski and Oli White- along with Joey Graceffa, emerged from nowhere after three months, with the eight other YouTubers that had vanished with them were announced dead to the world, Justine amongst the casualties. Rosanna can still hear the service replaying in her head, over and over, as one of her closest friends is finally torn from her grasp after she'd been holding onto hope for so long.

Adjusting her dark dress in the mirror, she manages to gulp down a large breath. Joey Graceffa hadn't been heard from in a couple days- but with the anniversary upon them, she just hoped he was safe and sound at home. home didn't need to come out today. He deserves to be at peace. 

Though hopefully to help, she tugs out her phone and opens up his contact, the photo of him grinning back at her.

_Hi Joey, just a __reminder that I love you and I'm _  
_here if you need to talk to someone. I know you_  
_ won't be feeling good today, but I will always be_  
_ here if you need me <3_ _I love you! _  
_~Ro_  
  
**Sent ✓**  
**11:07**

When she gets home from the memorial service it's still unseen. Matthew had mentioned that he had a hunch that something wasn't right with Joey's sudden disappearance. She'd brushed it off.

_He's probably sleeping. She wouldn't blame him for trying to wish this day away._

Though time passes, and he _still_ hasn't seen it, but the reality hits her a couple weeks later by a phone call from Matt at six am.

"What-"

_"It's happening again. A bunch of YouTubers have gone missing- Tyler Oakley, Liza Koshy, Lauren and Alex too- they're gone. Nine in total."_

Nothing but fear registers in her brain- didn't they catch the killer? Are there more? Oh _god_.

"We'll find them... Right?"

_"We're sure gonna try, Ro. That's all we can do."_

* * *

Search parties rise, and Rosanna makes it to any that she can. Which is _a lot_ of late nights. She's postponed her videos for a time being, though thankfully her community doesn't seem to mind, sending love and support in the comments of her more recent uploads: Updates, Information about what people can do to help, and pleas for people everywhere across the world to do what they can.

Even in a time like this- she can't help but notice some voices rising up above the others.

Teala Dunn- the poor thing had lost Sierra Furtado (and Eva Gutowski- to some extent) at the same time Rosanna had lost Justine, and from sitting beside the suddenly quiet girl during a few services, Rosanna was glad she seemed to be finding her voice again. 

The last two survivors had come together to make a video for the first time in a while for each of them, both assuring the world that they were okay, and joining the voice begging whoever had done this to bring back their friends.

Matthew's there too- having thrown himself head-first into the efforts, even if she could tell that something was brewing in the back of his head all the while. Matt was practically a genius, he always had something going on up there.

She's walked alongside David Dobrik during a handful of search parties, a spare packet of tissues and some water still in her bag from the last one.

Then, again and again, she sees a channel called _Guava Juice _appearing in her feed, and as she soon found out, a man named Roi Fabito. The name doesn't exactly ring a bell until she comes across the words "_Formerly Roi Wassabi_" in an article. _Wassabi. _Alex Wassabi went missing a month ago.

One google search, a few dozen tweets, and a couple of YouTube videos from years ago later and Rosanna's sitting on her couch desperately wanting to give this boy a hug. From what she can tell, the two seemed to be brothers at most, best friends at least, and she can hear the cracks in Roi's now more sombre voice, compared to the brightness of a boy from years ago. 

She's been praying that this isn't history repeating itself, but if it is, she hopes Alex makes it.

For Roi's sake, at least.

She lost her Justine- and so many other people lost family and friends amongst those eight casualties. 

She doesn't want him to go through that- even if someone else will as a consequence. 

She doesn't want anyone to go through that.

* * *

But of course, they do.

December comes, and Andrea Russet and Tyler Oakley are found as the sole survivors out of the ten, and every other body except Joey's recovered.

Including Alex Wassabi's.

Rosanna can't help but look on as the world fall apart all around her again, and even if she can't see him, while she's watching Roi's tribute video to Alex, she feels like he's fallen with it.

* * *

The voices that had risen up suddenly faded into thin air as a mournful silence fell across the community. New years came and passed, and it's March 28 when a video pops into Rosanna's recommended, catching her attention immediately. 

_"_ ** _Happy Birthday, Alex_ ** _"_

_Roi._

Setting down the new recipe she was testing on the counter, she grabbed her computer and settled herself on the couch, clicking on the thumbnail and watching as the familiar face flickered to life on the screen, running a hand through his hair and taking a deep breath before even uttering a word.

_"... Uh- Hi. I'm... Nope-"_

_-_

_"I'm not gonna, not gonna cry, not gonna cry- oh no-"_

_-_

_[Nervous Thumbs Up]_

_-_

_"Holy crap, I should really have scripted this-"_

_-_

_"Hi there. My name's Roi, and today I'd like to tell you about my best friend..."_

As the video plays out like a collection of fond memories, old photos and video clips mixed with Roi's narration -which Rosanna can hear quietly cracking at each new recollection. By the end of it, both of them are in tears, and the screen goes black after the soft-spoken outro "_Happy Birthday, dude. I love you._", leaving quiet as well. 

It's not harsh, like every other silence nowadays, but rather one that swirls in the air like dandelion seeds drifting in the breeze, floating along until they land all over the earth, spreading a supportive kind of warmth that takes route and grows into a flowerbed of hope, even in the most unlikely of places. 

Even in the aftermath of tragedy, he's smiling. Remembering. Loving.

Rosanna dries her eyes, glancing over to her half-done baking experiment.

_She should try find a recipe with guava in it... That'd be nice._

* * *

Most of the world, including herself, had presumed Joey Graceffa's death until April rolled around. 

First, there was the peculiar letter at her door when she got home from an errand run, then the name signed at the bottom.

_Joey_

_He's Alive._

Danger? She can handle danger. For someone of her stature, she can pack a pretty good punch with the guns she's gained from years of mixing batter and lifting machinery back and forth, so she's feeling a little more confident despite the fact she has no clue what she's walking into. 

No- she is confident. She trusts Joey with all her heart. She'll never let him down, and she's sure he won't either. 

She races to the phone, hitting the number from speed dial and listening to it ring.

It picks up almost immediately.

"Matt! I just got a letter from-"

_"Joey?"_

"... How did you know?"

_"I got one too. You going?"_

"Joey needs our help!"

_"And I need some answers... You need a lift?"_

"That'd be great! And what answers?"

_"I have_ _a theory. See you tomorrow, Ro."_

* * *

To Matt's annoyance, they seem to be two of the last to arrive. As they walk down the path, a clump of other people stand out in the open air. She makes her way over to Teala the moment she sees her, offering the girl a warm smile as she greets her. Different voices float around her head, but then something suddenly whips past her head- swirling around in her brain until it suddenly latches onto where she knows that sound.

_"Am I late?"_

_Roi._

She almost does a one-eighty on the spot, watching as the figure manages to cautiously _skid_ his way down the dirt bank towards the group, arms stretched out at his sides, the strings on his jacket flowing out behind him in the breeze. She'd have watched him continue to jog over if her attention hadn't been caught again by a fairly loud squeak as she accidentally grips a little too hard on the girl's hands in her slight over-excitement.

After apologising to Teala, she scuttled over towards the new arrival, dragging the girl with her to introduce themselves.

"Hi! I'm-"

"Rosanna Pansino, Right?"

She beams, having to physically swallow down her excitement as she shakes his hand, rocking on her feet.

"And you're Roi Fabito?"

"Yeah! It's great to meet you."

It takes her a couple of seconds to remember the girl she dragged by the hand, still standing quietly beside her.

"Oh- This is Teala!"

Seeming ever so slightly startled by the sudden introduction, she let out a soft _"hi"_, waving before crossing her hands again, gaze drifting back to the autumn leaves beneath her boots.

"So... No Joey, huh?"

She sighs, looking back to the group as- Safiya? Safiya.- is using half her attention to poke and the steadily forming fire, with Manny (yeah- that's his name) beside her, while the other half seems to be for staring straight at the floor in front of her while Nikita(? ... yeah) goes off on one behind them, twirling the ends of her blonde hair around her fingers.

"No Joey... I'm sure he'll be here soon, whatever he needs us for seems important." 

"He said it'd be dangerous, right? I'm starting to wonder why he called _us_ out of everyone to come help."

"I'm sure he knows exactly what he's doing. I trust Joey, he wouldn't put his friends in danger. Especially not after what's happened."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm _positive_."

* * *

...

_This is... Fine._

No- it's actually nice. Surprisingly enough. 

The awe-filled smile on Rosanna's face can't be helped as this cute, retro carnival springs to life around them. People are bustling around, there's stalls everywhere, and free food too! What's not to love? 

Unsurprisingly, she finds herself chatting with Roi; about their roles and hobbies and the aforementioned "danger" in the letter- while carefully skirting around the topic of the man himself- who's currently playing ring toss with a Nikita that's thoroughly kicking his ass at it.

She hardly even notices Roi looking off behind her while she's too busy gushing about how much the bluey-purple pup which Nikita has just- smugly- given to her reminds her of her own baby Cookie, only picking up on the change of focus when he motions to her, nodding over her shoulder.

"Isn't that Teala?"

Turning to see what he's looking It, she does in fact see the girl in question- though her smile almost pauses for a second when she sees how her shoulders are slumped, hands stuffed into her pockets as she paces back and forth beside a booth.

She looks up to Roi again- before tugging on his sleeve with a "c'mon", making her way over to Teala as he manages a detour to grab some popcorn.

"Hey! You doing okay?"

They seen to surprise her, as she stumbles slightly, looking at them with a pretty indifferent expression.

"Uh... Yeah?"

Rosanna's always counted herself as good at reading people, so she hardens her gaze, and the moment Teala meets it, she freezes. It takes a couple seconds before she lets out a sigh, her expression dropping.

"I- something feels wrong. About all of this."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, I just have this gut feeling that something isn't right here, y'know?"

With a quick thrown glance, Roi seems to be giving Teala the same quizzical look she is- causing the younger to look around, before moving closer to the pair.

"Think about it- there's nine of us, plus Joey- who just appeared out of literally_ nowhere_ asking for help on this_ " dangerous" _mission, and I'm just scared that what if-"

"_Hey- hey... Hey..."_

Roi reached out a hand to her shoulder, snapping a borderline-panicking Teala out of her ramble, trying his best to calm her down.

"Those... _incidents_, were kidnappings, right? We weren't kidnapped. We came here, all on our own, of our own free will, to _help_ Joey."

"And Joey wouldn't lead his friends into danger like that?"

"No- now would you like some popcorn?"

Teala's eyes widened at the sudden movement, her gut reaction apparently being to swat the box- sending a handful of pieces over the edge with a fairly loud squeak- prompting a bought of laughter between the three of them.

Ro's still smiling as Teala tries not to giggle her way over to Jc and Joey, while her and Roi head over to Colleen and Matt- The latter of whom had managed to acquire an even larger prize of his own Eventually leading to her and Matt (along with their two new furry friends) gleefully taking on the ferris wheel for a nice relaxed view over the carnival.

But then there's the newspaper- a sudden glaring sign that something isn't as delightful as it seems- and the ride _stops_.

As the dread sinks in, despite being stationary, Rosanna feels like the air's getting thinner around her head. They need to warn their friends before something happens. They need to warn their friends before someone gets hurt. They need to-

Something just went off. Before she can even figure out what it is, there's bodies swarming the ground and even more _littering _it. She has to grab the bar and lean back into the metal to stop herself hurling up over the edge. A flash of blue disappears into an RV in the corner of her eye- but it doesn't help when she manages to pick out Joey being dragged in too.

She doesnt know whether she wants to be here anymore, or wants to stay up here- away from those clowns- for the rest of her life.

_This really isn't fine in the slightest_.

* * *

It isn't her either.

But her throat still feels like it's closing over when she sees a red Teala and an orange Matt move away from the rest of the group- Safiya and Jc going in tow. They laugh about something- and it rings genuine but Rosanna can't shake the flash of fear running through the young "spy"'s eyes as she got out of her seat, clenched fists soon submerged in her pockets as she tries to hold herself high. She loves Matt, and with that love, she knows that that man will fight with everything he has to prove himself to someone and to fight for what he believes in. 

She doesn't want anyone to die.

She also just wants to say a proper goodbye too.

But then they're gone, and as the door clicks she drags her gaze away from the empty air to spot Roi doing the exact same. They manage to catch each other's eyes, the realisation that the seemingly insane thought of _serious_ danger that Teala proposed earlier was actually _right._

He raises his eyebrows, and she sighs.

She knows what he means.

All they can do now is wait.

The seconds will drag against their hearts beating double time but they wait.

That's all they can do, after all.

* * *

Much to her sweet surprise, the haze of red and orange filter back into the room- along with a blue, red and brown Safiya- as Matt _and Teala_ walk back into the room. Then the bitter hits.

_Jc's gone._

_Calm smile, curly hair and chill vibe that radiated from him- the complete opposite of the nightmare that's settling down and ready to smother them like a thick blanket nightfall._

_It's all gone._

_And he's only the start, isn't he?_

While Colleen's on her feet in shock, Rosanna takes the opportunity to take Teala's hand as she sits down close to her. The girl looks up to her for a second, a blank look in her eyes that causes Ro's breath to catch in her throat- but she smiles, reassuringly tightening her grip as she smiles, her attention flickering with Teala's to see Roi showing a thumbs-up and the same supportive warmth in his eyes, with an underlying question of _"you good?"_. With that same vacant look, Teala's lips contort into a brief smile- looking from him to Rosanna, before she pulls her hand away, lacing her fingers in her lap, smile falling as if it were never there to begin with. Ro's heart takes a second to jolt- almost out of place- before returning to normal. She sees Roi's shoulders sink, now simply running his hands over his knees and looking at who-knows-what, while she almost forgets to retract her hand when Colleen finally sits back down.

She's still got Matt. In her heart- he'll never leave- but for now, he's here in total. She's got Joey too, she's still certain of that. 

As she looks around, she spots Safiya, fiddling in her pocket for something she must've grabbed after the challenge. She's never met the girl before, but after managing to beat _Matt_ of all people- saving Teala in the process- she likes her. 

Though in the end, there's still only nine of them. 

_That isn't right._

_None of this is._

_This isn't right at all._

* * *

None of this is fair.

Matt's arm around her side doesn't even seem to dull it as her focus fazes in and out of focus, her view of the lounge skewed from how her head's resting on his shoulder, the once bright walls fading to a desaturated version of their past colours. Thoughts and events of the last hour alone keep ricochetting through her head and that fact that none of them contain Jc still make her stomach churn but there's the Snakewoman and the poison and the rush for the antidote and then almost losing Roi and then almost losing Teala too and then the tower and it crashing down and the sharp flash of fear jolting through Teala's eyes again as it rattles down her own spine at the sight of the back of Roi's head, block in his hands, and what Rosanna can't help but feel is another layer of her seemingly unending hope being ripped apart and falling to shreds around his feet, glimmering like the gold accents on the green wood at his feet.

He's brave- god he's _brave_\- but when staying _calm_ has already been shot down, she can't help but feel like bravery is going to get shot down too.

As much as she doesn't want him gone- he's up against Nikita and _god_ she _voted_ for Nikita and now her throat's tightening again and it's not until Matt nudges her shoulder that she realises there are tears streaming down her cheeks

But he's not gone yet.

He's not gone yet.

He's still out there fighting and trying and then the door clicks and pink walks in and he's _gone._

_Now they're down to eight._

But from across the room, Safiya murmurs something to Teala- probably about the wooden _something_ she's holding in her hands like it's a lifeline to something long lost- it's a clue, and so they go again. On another jaunt around never-ending Everlock that's going to leave another corpse cold at their feet.

...

_Rosanna just wants to go home._

* * *

_It gets worse. _

_Of course it does._

She had a good team- she had the _best_ team- but as she's holding onto Matt and Safiya in a hug that she never truly wants to end, her fingers still ache for something that slipped through them like the cold breeze back outside.

She took her hand again. 

There's a fading heat in her palm where Teala reached out again, slotting her hand into Ro's with a warmth that for once was reflected by the soft smile present on her face. Though as quickly as the moment's there, it's tone again, ended with the punctuation of a young woman's screaming pleads shooting helplessly into the dark as Rosanna watches the next body fall right in front of her eyes. Green smog wraps around the red of her friend's figure as starlight breaks through the leaves, reminding Ro of the sick version of a Christmas that the girl will never get to see, following on from a twenty-second birthday cake that'll never be eaten, or even made in the first place.

Though as she holds tighter onto her friend's collars, pulling them ever closer as her ears ring and even more tears threaten to spill all over again, she wonders for the first time what's after this.

_If _she doesn't make it- _her stomach lurches again- _then is there somewhere to go? Somewhere safe and free and somewhere other than here.

_Anywhere but here_.

Maybe she'll see Justine, or Teala. Maybe she'll see everyone.

Roi too.

She hopes they're okay. She hopes Teala's smiling again- everyone else as well.

_She just wants everyone to be happy again._

She just wants to know that they're okay.

* * *

_When all is said and done, she's right and wrong._

She sees Justine- before her closest friend once again slips through her fingers like the sands In Egypt she was lost to, and Ro's alone again- but after the four deaths following Justine's, her shoulders feel like they're in a permanent slump, rigid and hunched like they've been set that way- like this misery will keep following them for the rest of their afterlife.

But she needs to keep her head high. She's got friends here- right here, right now.

She likes Bretman- he's got Nikita's No-Bull attitude and stamina to keep going, but with Manny's softness and sweet-likability. He even has a bit of Matt in him- in a way- with his bursts of intelligence and cracking-wit. Long story short- she really wants to give Bretman Rock a hug.

Then there's Alex.

...

_She misses Roi._

They have the same playful warmth of care and protectiveness radiating from each action they make, each look of wide-eyed wonder at something that manages to hold their attention for more than a second as they marvel at it. Her memories play their laughter side by side and it _fits_, flowing together like a two-part melody for a song that'll never be heard again apart from in videos that are now memorials to the lost too soon.

And just like Roi, there's hope.

_He deserves an answer._

"Roi- he was part of our group."

_Like another layer of hope-_

"He practically sacrificed himself for us."

_-the tower crumbles at his feet-_

"He didn't make it..."

_-and the last piece falls away._

"Alex- I'm so sorry..."

...

_He cracks._

Alex's expression falls, his head turning to a suddenly demure Bretman, getting a confirming nod that he clearly wishes wasn't real as the grief continues to splinter across his features. She's hardly registering it as she breaks away from her seat, bolting forward and into Alex's arms as the man practically crumples around her- holding onto her and _shaking _as the news seems to hit him over and over and over like a round of shotgun shells.

_And Rosanna knows one thing._

_If she could have one wish- she knows what she wants._

_She'd give up her home- her life and her freedom for it._

_She wants one thing._

_She just wants all this pain to end._

**Author's Note:**

> So. In conclusion. Did I just spend about 2 months writing 4000 words of angst just to persuade Leah to write Ro telling Alex about Roi in the break chapter of the S4 novel?
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> <strike>yes. yes I did.</strike>
> 
> -
> 
> Please leave a comment if you liked it!! Or just yell at me. 
> 
> Geez I haven't posted anything in ages.


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